Umm can I have this bar in my house please !? The bar at Aria Hotel Prague, the whole hotel is music themed (at Prague, Czech Republic)
Just released my 4th song "So Long" from my new album!!! SO excited to share it with you guys & can't wait for you to hear what else I have in store
Playing the piano in the lobby of the Aria Hotel Budapest. This specific piano is a Hungarian invention and there are only 3 of them in the world (at Aria Hotel Budapest)
Trying to record a video and this happens …
So I have had a lot of people asking me about when my long talked about CD is coming out, and I truly appreciate everyone who wants to hear my new songs. Truly.
The truth is that I had been struggling with something off and on health-wise for a few years, and it escalated and I ended up severely sick for about 10 months until recently. During this 10 months, I was going to a minimum of three doctors visits a week trying to find out what was wrong with me. I have tried every holistic ritual you can imagine. I altered my diet, I cut out gluten, cut out dairy. I underwent immune therapy, and found out four months later there was nothing wrong with my immune system. I started acupuncture twice a week because it was the only thing that managed my pain. Was going for multiple CT scans, blood work four times a month for multiple different doctors and all I wanted was answers.
During this 10 months, I never complained about being sick. I didn’t let it stop me from doing anything that I wanted to do; traveling, working out, working on my music. The only thing I was physically unable to do was sing, and that was the ONLY thing that mattered to me. I recently underwent surgery and am now feeling 100% better but am still healing, and some days I can sing, and some days I can’t. I have about two vocal sessions a week, where I either go and it’s a good day or I go and we can’t keep the majority of the vocals.
Honestly, I’m pissed about it. Irate actually. But I’d like to think irate in like a peaceful kind of way like Ghandi or something. And just for the record, anyone that is physically healthy and capable of doing whatever dream or goal you may have for themselves and isn’t doing it: 1. I am insanely jealous of you. 2. I am SO angry with you. Why are you letting your ambitions go to waste? Other people would kill to have what YOU have, please do not take it for granted.
I’ve come to the realization that, if whatever in my life doesn’t go my way or how I had planned, as life often does, I need to ask myself one thing:
Can I control this?
If the answer is yes, then the next question to ask yourself is: What can I do about it?
If the answer is no, then you should ask yourself: Am I doing everything within my control?
If you are absolutely doing everything within your control, it doesn’t benefit you to beat yourself up about something you have no power over. But if you are not doing everything within your control, why aren’t you!?
I sure as hell will make sure I am doing everything possible that I can control to get me closer to where I want to be. I hope you are too.
What is in your control today?
If anyone had asked me one year ago if I could see myself where I am today, I would’ve said there is no shot in hell. Stuck in a three year relationship, I felt as if I had I had no identity, but couldn’t remember the last time I did if I was being honest with myself. I was miserable day in & day out because I knew whoever it was I was being, wasn’t me; like my body was a shell and the person inside of it didn’t belong there. There is nothing more unsettling than living the life of a stranger everyday and I knew that my life was meant to be more than this revolving 24 hour cycle of mediocrity.
So I set out to find the person I had lost, or needed to find again. I set out on an impromptu trip to Mexico with my sister, in which my only requirements for myself were to relax, have a few daquiris and maybe live on the edge a little aka not wear sunscreen. For some reason I always think I’m invincible against the sun’s rays and then end up with third degree burns and unrecognizable in my passport photo, because it’s not crucial to my identity or anything.
But this was something I had never done before…booked a last minute trip to anywhere, and I hadn’t been on a vacation in years. Although it is nothing earth shattering, it was out of the ordinary for me. This set the tone for the rest of my year, and my new outlook on life. I realized I didn’t want to be ordinary anymore, I didn’t want to get stuck in this routine, I didn’t want what anyone else thinks to dictate what I do or don’t do. I also decided that whatever it is I want to do, I’m going to do it NOW.
So I decided to take on this journey… I found out my favorite band was playing at Red Rocks Ampitheatre in Colorado (seeing this venue had been on my bucket list for a while) so I bought the concert tickets and decided I’d figure out the rest later. The furthest west I had ever been was Minnesota, which fortunately for my skin isn’t that deathly in the sun department. Went to see the concert a few months later and afterwards explored for a few days, and it’s kind of weird to say but at the concert seeing my favorite band in the middle of the mountains, I had this feeling come over me like “this is what it feels like to feel alive”. And whatever that feeling was, I wanted to feel it not only more often, but every day.
A few months later, I had an opportunity to go to Prague & Budapest. I had never been to Europe nor had I had a desire to go to Prague or Budapest, but I was like sure, why not? I quit my full time job and took on this life of rebellion. With this time off, I also wanted to go explore some states to see where I might want to live and to see what else is out there. So I set off on a solo mission to Arizona, San Francisco, Colorado again, and Austin and returned with pictures, stories, and a sense of self and confidence that I can do anything, and on my own.
More than anything throughout this past year though, I have realized how important my music is to me. I had put it on the back-burner for way too long even though it was eating me up inside. If I died tomorrow the only thing I would regret is not putting my whole heart into this, because it is the only thing that makes me feel like myself. I feel like it is my identity.
We all live day to day as if we’re immortal and we have an unlimited amount of time here on earth. We spend all of our time working and saving as if we can take our money to the grave with us. We postpone everything we want to accomplish, see, and experience until later or this fairytale land we call “someday” as if time is this luxury we’re granted that never runs out. We’re not guaranteed tomorrow, or that we will even live to see someday but still, we wait for this day to come.
Looking back, I don’t even recognize the person I was a year ago. I hope a year from now, I don’t recognize the person who I am now. I can’t wait for someday anymore. Can you?
To the year ahead,